Parlez-vous Mumsnet? The modern parenting lingo replacing actual words

Publish date: 2024-06-05

To those uninitiated in its complex code of acronyms, dipping a toe into the Mumsnet waters can be a baffling experience. Who or what is AIBU? What is a DH? And is DFIL* a qualification, a medical procedure or something else entirely? If a shared language is key to creating a community, then a failure to speak it can leave you scrolling through the conversation threads in frustration, in search of something in English. Until now, that is. For among the 1,000-plus new words added to the latest Oxford English Dictionary is a handful of those perplexing Mumsnet acronyms that have inveigled their way into our online conversations around parenting. So in case you haven’t yet got your hands on a copy of the latest OED, here’s your print-out-and-keep guide to the entry-level Mumsnet lingo you need to understand.

TTC

Definition: Trying to conceive. E.g. “TTC is so hard and demoralising.”

The reason for putting this into code is fairly self-evident: it's sex we're talking about here, and Mumsnet users are hardly the first group to seek out euphemisms or alternatives to spelling out the act explicitly. Not that Mumsnetters are squeamish about discussing awkward subjects. But handy shorthands are faster to type.

Previously known as: Trying for a baby. Or just nothing - in the past, such intimate topics were not routinely broadcast across the public sphere, anonymously or otherwise.

If you've been TTC (trying to conceive) the outcome will either be a BFN or a BFY (big fat no or big fat yes) when you do a test Credit: Carlos G. Lopez/Moment RF

BFP/BFN

Definition: Big fat positive/Big fat negative (in the context of the results of a pregnancy test). In other words, the outcome of  TTC. E.g. “I tested too early! I felt pregnant but as soon as the BFN, I convinced myself that I wasn't.” Using a + or - symbol might be a quicker shortcut here, but it would show you weren’t part of the club.

Previously known as: Positive or negative. Or simpler still, pregnant or not pregnant. The “big and fat” bit of pregnancy came later.

CIO

Definition: Cry it out, which is the opposite technique of rushing to pick up your baby and comfort him the moment he raises a whimper. E.g. “Has anyone had success with CIO and also would you recommend moving to his own room for that?”

CIO is an acceptable sleep training technique and helps teach a baby to respect the fact that you’re halfway through an episode of The Crown and don’t wish to be interrupted.

Previously known as: Leaving them to cry. Or tough love. Or child cruelty, depending on your mindset. 

Has this baby been left to CIO (cry it out) or are his parents practising the CC (controlled crying technique)? Credit:  Dimitri Otis/ Stone Sub

CC

Definition: Controlled crying - another way of dealing with the above problem. The “controlled” bit refers to the imposition of a time period for which the baby is allowed to cry before the parent rushes in. This can be gradually increased from two minutes, to three, to four, and so on, until the crying period lasts long enough for you to eat your dinner. E.g. “I know plenty of parents who have used CC and swear by it.”

Previously known as: Leaving your baby to cry for a bit before relenting when the sound of the sobbing grew too heartrending and you feared they'd be emotionally scarred for life by the experience. 

DS/DD

Definition: Darling or dear son/daughter. E.g. “DS swallowed mouthful of bodywash in the shower.” It has been pointed out, by one confused Mumsnet user, that “if you have to keep telling everyone they are dear or darling it implies there is some doubt.” The reply was: “Yabu. DD is easier/quicker to type.” Yabu, btw, means "you are being unreasonable". Btw means "by the way". Soon there will be no need for actual words, only acronyms. Or should that be OAs?

Previously known as: Just “son” or “daughter” used to suffice. But where’s the fun in using a language everyone can understand?

If you don't speak the Mumsnet lingo, using the site can be a confusing experience Credit: Andrew Matthews/PA Wire

D&V

Definition: Diarrhoea and vomiting. But since those are two unpleasant words it’s nice to use a shorthand that makes them sound like they might be a nice alcoholic drink. E.g. “What is the best way to deal with a D&V bug?”

Previously known as: A tummy bug, or gastroenteritis if we wanted to sound more medically aware.

DTD

Definition: Doing the deed/doing the dance. Which in turn mean having sex. Possibly while TTC a DS or DD. (Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten what those mean already.) E.g. “I know people say DTD can bring [labour] on but I'm more of the opinion that it will start when it's ready.” The trouble with this one is that considering it’s about sex, it just doesn’t sound all that sexy. Then again, maybe that’s the point.  

Previously known as: Any number of things, most of which are unsuitable for inclusion here.  

* AIBU = "Am I being unreasonable?" a question that can precede any number of behaviours.

DH = Darling husband

DFIL = Darling father-in-law. We couldn't quantify how ironic this one is supposed to be.

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